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Are you a vampire?


To find out, please add up the points after each answer. Then see How to Score at the end.

1. The best part of being a vampire is:

a. being on Earth for the long haul 3

b. hunting humans down, one by one 2

c. harvesting humans as a cash crop 1

d. being emo 0

2. The worst part of being a vampire is

a. it's all good, so long as you have enough blood 2

b. special dietary needs 3

c. having to put up with humans—but not for much longer 1

d. reacting to seeing a crucifix 0

3. When it comes to food, I

a. eat almost everything, but prefer red meat 0

b. prefer human blood 2

c. prefer humans 1

d. like seafood, especially oysters, and veggies, along with supplements 3

4. My favorite pastime is

a. reading 3

b. eating junk food 0

c. staying up late plotting, and prowling dark streets at midnight 2

d. slaughter 1

5. When it comes to travel, I

a. fly by night 2

b. prefer forms that don't leave carbon footprints 3

c. would rather stay home and tend my crops 1

d. am ready to go anywhere, any time 0

6. My favorite clothing is

a. all black, all the time 0

b. custom-tailored in London 3

c. polyester, which is stain-resistant 2

d. none at all 1

7. When it comes to politics, I believe in

a. ignoring them 0

b. brute force 1

c. the democratic process 3

d. using them to get what I want 2

8. My favorite drink is

a. beer, preferably a keg 0

b. chilled blood, sipped from antique crystal goblets 2

c. an Italian aperitif made from a secret recipe 3

d. warm blood, straight from the jugular vein 1

9. I define love as

a. warm puppies and babies and stuff like that 0

b. a form of biological cooperation in which the emotions of each are necessary to the fulfillment of the other's instinctive purposes 3

c. a grotesque human illusion 2

d. lust 1

10. Earth would be a better place if

a. I ran it 2

b. Nobody ran it 1

c. Enlightened vampires and humans ran it collaboratively 3

d. Earth is perfectly fine just the way it is 0


25-30 You are a SANGUINIST, an ethical vampire who cares about the environment and works toward equal rights with humans. Read THE SANGUINIST'S DAUGHTER to learn how to cope with your condition.

20-25 You are a NEBULIST, a proponent of vampire rights. You believe human extinction is inevitable, and you take human victims one at a time. Read THE SANGUINIST'S DAUGHTER to learn more about your culture.

15-20 You are a COLONIST, a vampire who cultivates human crops and subsists entirely on human blood and meat. You favor human extinction on a grand scale. You probably don't read, but you should check out THE SANGUINIST'S DAUGHTER to see what the other vampires are up to.

0-15 You're a HUMAN, not a vampire. It's in your best interests to read THE SANGUINIST'S DAUGHTER for clues on how to survive.


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